Single football club, age 146, seeks male to bring passion and a sense of purpose to our lives. GSOH essential.
Finding a perfect football manager is like finding the perfect partner in life. There is always a hope that someone is out there who cares for you as much as you care for them, that they won’t bankrupt you and that the passion is enough to shake a 40,000 seater stadium.
Having dated on and off over the past few years there are some things I have learned about the ever decreasing pool of available partners and how the same dating rules apply to finding a significant other that apply to filling the vacant role for your other love, your club.
Here are the some of the potential love partners that I have encountered in my foray into dating.
If you have never had the pleasure of being on an online dating site I’ll give you a brief synopsis of what happens. You create a profile about yourself, who you are, what you like and what you’re looking for in a special someone. You can then browse the member profiles and find people who look interesting or are compatible with what you’re looking for.
The truth of it is you could write anything you want about yourself or your ideal partner because there are always undesirables who will approach you and ignore everything other than your photo (or the fact that you have a pulse).
A typical undesirable sends you photos of his abs without any words (or other suprising appendages) or they start a sentence with ‘Hi babes’ and make comments about your appendages.
A friend of mine once got a direct message from a man that said ‘Will you have sex with me, five of my friends and a dog?’ To which she replied ‘What breed is the dog?’
An undesirable is flashy, likes pictures taken of himself and every sentence begins with the first person singular.
These undesirables are just after a quick in and out. They don’t care what your ambitions, hopes and dreams are they just want the money shot which you know will backfire on you. If you choose an undesirable you know that there may be some short term pleasure but no long term gain. He’s definitely not the man you end up with in the family enclosure.
The Older Man
Despite your profile having a preferred age range of 30-45 there are always the 50-60 year olds who try and engage you in conversation. You have nothing against the older, established man but you know that his moves are old fashioned and he rarely wants the same things as you do.
The older man is set in his ways. He knows what he likes and tries to recreate that in every relationship he has. He always has a habit of bringing old acquaintances with him. This man is a comfortable pair of Marks & Spencer slippers. He might give you security to some degree but he isn’t going to rock your scoresheet.
The Perpetual Single
No matter how many times you have a break from dating every time you embark on journey again there are always some of the same faces who pop up on the dating scene.It leaves you thinking ‘really…Alan Curbishley is still on the look out for someone.’
The perpetual single makes you worry about what baggage they’re likely to have or whether they’re just too picky themselves. Maybe they don’t want to travel too far to be with you, maybe they’re hiding their obvious inadequacies or maybe they’ve just not got enough game. Whatever way you look at it they are single for a reason.
I’m catnip for Albanian men apparently. They appear to seek me out online. The majority of them immediately fall into the ‘undesirable’ pool but sometimes you’re intrigued by their exotic outlook.
There may be an intriguing Swede who reminds you of better days, or a crazy Italian who’s boundless passion may result in a restraining order. I’ve never discounted a man based on his nationality, sometimes they can broaden your horizons and enhance your understanding of the world.
The in the backgrounders
When someone like Stuart Gray, the current Sheffield Wednesday caretaker manager, steps forward you think he’s very nice but he’s not exactly what you’re looking for. He’s the man you talk to for a while before someone else more enigmatic catches your eye. But then as the weeks go by you start you find yourself still talking to him, enjoying the time you spend with him but there is always a feeling of maybe you could do better. He’s more 50 Shades of Beige than Grey.
He might not be the one but you may make a good friend along the way.
The important thing to remember when dating is that no-one is perfect. There are compromises in every relationship you just have to find what you can live with.
Let’s face it we fans are by no means perfect. I once drove a man away by talking too much about Les Dennis. If that doesn’t scare a perfectly good man away then he’s a keeper.