Nothing Compares to TV

Evil Edna Willo the Wisp

It’s been seven hours and eleven weeks,

Since you took your aerial away.

I go out every night and work all day,

Since you took your TV away…

…but not any more, I have access to live television again and just in time to watch England and Sheffield Wednesday embarrassed on the box by Germany and Huddersfield respectively.

It’s ironic that I now live within spitting distance of Alexandra Palace, the home of the world’s first regular high-definition public television broadcast and transmitter, but yet in the lead lined bunker that I now call home I can’t get a signal.

An existence without television is an enlightening experience. I began to read more books and magazines, listen to the radio and the most radical solution to televisionlessness, going outdoors. However, I really needed my fix. 606 can only sustain you for so long after listening to the fifteenth Manchester United fan complaining about David Moyes from the comfort of their armchair.

I began to fantasise about watching Lewis marathons and the comforting thought of Kevin Whatley’s face drew me to places where there was live TV.

Not since the age of 21 have I spent this amount of time in pubs. A bottle or two of Corona purchased in order to keep peeking at Jeff Steling’s cheeky grin on a Saturday afternoon or to hear a pearl of wisdom from Clive Tyldesley. Yes it got that desperate.

It’s been like stepping back into the 90’s watching England games in pubs. In Sheffield it was becoming a fruitless venture to watch matches in local watering holes due to the majority of them being bulldozed to the ground or late night convenience stores filling the now empty tap rooms.

Except now watching England in a pub isn’t a euphoric, ‘must stand on a stool to see the action’ kind of experience. It’s more of a ‘glance at the screen and keep scrolling through my tablet’ occurrence.

Now that I have TV installed again at home I’ve been looking forward to just settling down in my PJs and getting generally irritated by the teams I support. The BT deal in the future is going to hinder watching Champions League football but maybe the BBC can milk the Premier League programming a little more by producing a ‘Match of the Day Three Extra Bits We’ve Talked About Already But We Haven’t Talked About For 20 Minutes’ show, just so we can get a football fix.

When I asked the question ‘can anyone recommend anything to watch’ the only suggestion that came back was Gogglebox.  It’s either very postmodern that everyone is watching a programme about people watching television or just a reflection that people have watched all other programmes ever made.

Still it makes me very happy to see my little glowing friend in the corner of the room again. As a consequence I would expect this blog to become less intellectual and thought provoking with more references to Murder She Wrote.


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