Waiting for Guardiola

(An absurdist play in which two characters wait endlessly and in vain for the arrival of Guardiola.)

Setting:  On an overpriced road.  Outside Gucci.

Khaldoon Al Mubarak sits on a Lamborghini playing with his Louis Vuitton boots.

Roman Abramovich enters and sits alongside Khaloon.

Khaldoon:  ‘Charming spot.  Inspiring prospects, I might build one like this next to the Etihad.  Let’s go’.

Roman:  ‘We can’t’.

Khaldoon:  ‘Why not?’

Roman:  ‘We’re waiting for Guardiola’

Khaldoon:  (despairingly) ‘Ah, you’re sure it was here?’

Roman:  ‘He said by Gucci.  Do you see any others?’

Khaldoon:  ‘Well there’s about five in London but let’s not digress.’

Roman:  ‘What are you insinuating?  That we’ve come to the wrong place?’

Khaldoon:  ‘He should be here’.

Roman:  ‘He didn’t say for sure he’d come’.

Khaldoon:  ‘And if he doesn’t come?’

Roman:  ‘We’ll come back tomorrow.’

Khaldoon:  ‘And then the day after tomorrow.’

Roman:  ‘Possibly.’

Khaldoon:  ‘And so on?’

Roman:  ‘The point is…?’

Khaldoon:  ‘Until he comes.’

Roman:  ‘Well shall we go?’

Khaldoon:  ‘Yes let’s go.’

They do not move.

Meanwhile at the Emirates…

Pep Guardiola Hand shake

 

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